My husband and are coming into our fifth year of marriage this week. I’m so excited and feel so blessed to have made it this far in this amazing union. It is an honor and a truly a gift from God that has molded me and altered my life in the best of ways. With that said, there have been some very difficult challenges that we have had to endure along the way. There have been some blissful times and some heartbreaking times but through it all the Lord has been with us. As we have grown together in our marriage and in our walk with Christ, we have learned some things. It is true that experience can some times be the best teacher but learning from others can be even better. So my hubby and I sat down together and went over some of the important lessons we have learned throughout our journey. We thought it would only be right to share them, so that we could help you avoid a few major pitfalls in your relationship, let’s chat.
1. Marriage is a covenant.
Marriage is literally a covenant that is sealed between you, your spouse and Jesus. Many get married and have no idea what they have actually entered into. Think of it this way. When you sign a legal document such as a lease. You and the other party have signed into a binding agreement that cannot be broken! If you do break the agreement, there are legal repercussions that you must pay. It is the same way in marriage. You and your spouse enter into a legal, spiritually binding agreement that cannot be broken. “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Mark 10:9
Yes, we know that people get divorced and choose to break the agreement. But the truth is that God HATES divorce!
The Lord, the God of Israel, says, “I hate divorce, and I hate the cruel things that men do. So protect your spiritual unity. Don’t cheat on your wife.”
Malachi 2:16 ERV
There are only a few reasons listed in the bible that actually releases spouses from the marriage union, sexual immorality and abandonment.
But I tell you that any man who divorces his wife, except for the problem of sexual sin, is causing his wife to be guilty of adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman is guilty of adultery.
Matthew 5:32 ERV
But if the husband or wife who is not a believer decides to leave, let them leave. When this happens, the brother or sister in Christ is free. God chose you to have a life of peace.
1 Corinthians 7:15 ERV
2. Marriage comes with an assignment.
Many people get married with the intention of fulfilling their fantasy of having the “perfect image” of love, life and family. That is connected to identity issues, but that’s a whole different blog! The truth is each person comes with an assignment on their lives before they meet. There are specific things that God has planned for you to accomplish in your life according to HIS purpose. You as a believer will be held accountable for how you walk out your assignment. Once you get married, “your” and “their” assignments become “our” assignment! It is still yours and your spouses duty to accomplish it, together.
3. 2 halves DON’T make a whole!
We have all heard the cliche’ phrase “two halves make a whole.” That is simply not true when it comes to love. Two whole people will make a whole relationship! Two broken people will make a broken relationship. The word of God tells us that iron sharpens iron. Two broken people cannot help each other. It is like the blind leading the blind. But two people who are healed and complete in Christ Jesus, are able to help build each other up. You, your spouse and Jesus together is unbreakable!
As one piece of iron sharpens another, so friends keep each other sharp.
Proverbs 27:17 ERV
Stay away from the Pharisees. They lead the people, but they are like blind men leading other blind men. And if a blind man leads another blind man, both of them will fall into a ditch.”
Matthew 15:14 ERV
An enemy might be able to defeat one person, but two people can stand back-to-back to defend each other. And three people are even stronger. They are like a rope that has three parts wrapped together—it is very hard to break.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 ERV
4. BE OPEN, BE VULNERABLE, BE FLEXIBLE!
One of the most challenging aspects of marriage is having to let go of who you think you are to be who God has made you to be in your marriage. You as a single person is a very different version of you as a married person. One, that until you get married, you have not actually met yourself yet. We spend our entire lives learning who we are as individuals. We get married then suddenly we are thrusted into a whole new world filled with uncertainty. Now we have to immediately learn how to be this new version of ourselves that we have never had to be before. And that can be very uncomfortable and downright confusing at times. The best way to navigate through the transitions in your marriage is to allow yourself to be open to change, to be vulnerable with your spouse and to be flexible and allow yourself to flow in the direction that the Holy Spirit leads you.
5. Butterflies will lie to you! It’s about character, NOT EMOTIONS.
Please do NOT be that young minded version of yourself that tells you to choose your spouse based on how your tummy fills with “butterflies” when you’re near them. I cannot stress this enough! Your emotions will lie to you! How many times have you met someone who made you feel giddy, or took your breath away and you just knew they were the one! Only to find out later that they were hiding who they really were, and the person you fell in love with was a lie? You didn’t feel “butterflies” because they were so great, and you didn’t feel pain because they were so horrible either. It’s because you were deceived by your own emotions! The Bible tells us, “You are tempted by the evil things you want. Your own desire leads you away and traps you.”
James 1:14 ERV
Marriage is a beautiful blessing and a loving gift from God. But just like everything else in life if we want to have a happy and successful marriage we must live it out with Christ as the head and the word of God as our foundation. Then we will reap all of the rewards that God has promised to us concerning our marriages. May God lead you and guide you in the right direction. May he shower you with his wisdom and understanding concerning marriage. I pray that he will help you to be the spouse that he designed for you to be. Until our next chat, be blessed.
If you enjoyed this post please tap the like button. Be sure to subscribe with your email so you won’t miss any future posts and please share so it can bless someone else. ❤️