As I said in the last post, my husband and I made 5 years of marriage this week. Reaching this milestone anniversary has been such a blessing to us! If you haven’t had a chance to read part 1, I encourage you to do so. There are some great tips in that post that I believe will be very helpful to you.
In this post I would like to discuss 5 more tips that you and your love can apply to your relationship. This time let’s go over some of the more fun aspects of marriage. Marriage is not all about emotions and yes there are some very challenging aspects of it. But there are also some super incredible things that you get to experience in marriage that make it oh so worth it! So let’s chat about 5 more things you need to know before marriage.
1. Your Marriage, Your World! (Create, create, create!)
You know how folks are always saying ” the world doesn’t revolve around you”? Well guess what? That doesn’t apply to your marriage! One of the best parts about being married is that you and your spouse literally get to create your version of your “world” together. Your marriage world literally revolves around you and your spouse. In fact you will quickly find that for it to be authentic, you’re literally going to have to eliminate everyone else for it to grow the way the two of you want it to! Including others in your world will destroy it before you even get started! Your marriage bond is between you, your spouse and Christ, and NO ONE ELSE! So have fun, learn yourselves, learn each other. Figure out what makes you happy and enjoy every minute of it. You have finally stepped into your very own little “world”, now what are you going to do with it?
2. Remember to Keep It Sexy!
Yea, I said it! Do yourself a favor and let go of the religious spirit that says you can’t keep it sexy in your marriage. That is a trick of the enemy to steal the passion right out of your love life, “with your spouse”. The word of God tells us that the marriage bed is clean, or undefiled.
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4 NKJV
Passion, sex, intimacy and love are all ordained by God for you in your marriage. These are gifts given to married couples to enjoy. So why not take as much advantage of it as possible. We spend so much time trying to undo all the wrongs we committed in the area of sexual sin before marriage. We should be elated and ready to jump at keeping the fire ignited once we are married but sometimes life can make us forget to be intentional. So here’s a little reminder, get kinky, get sexy, get excited, keep it hot! Just don’t make it ungodly and you’re good to go! 😉
3. Please Remember to Have Fun
This might seem hard to forget but trust me it isn’t. If you’re doing this life thing right, you should be progressing. Becoming a better version of yourself, growing in your walk with Christ, and generally getting further away from who you once were and closer to who God made you to be. With that being said, after marriage you may not realize it but you will start to change. Everything you used to like will start to evolve into something else. It can be difficult to make the transition. We are so used to doing what we once enjoyed doing prior to marriage, that we do not always know how to learn to like something new. So we get stuck in this weird rut, where you can’t go back to enjoying the old stuff but you don’t quite know what you like now yet. It can be frustrating and if you’re not careful you can become complacent and honestly, downright boring. So get up, get out and try stuff in your marriage. This one goes hand in hand with creating your own world. Trust me this is important, and it will not happen unless you make it happen.
4. Take the Major Leaps With Confidence
At some point God is going to start calling you and your spouse forward. It will look like things are no longer happening with ease. The enemy will try to convince you that you made the wrong decision in getting married. But this is a TRICK, an old one at that! What is really taking place is that God is calling you to go higher in your marriage. If you allow the enemy and the world to pull you, you will be divided. If you go with the drawing of the Holy Spirit you will become ONE and you will be elevated together. So what does this look like practically? Things start to go wrong! Problems occur that were not there before, spiritual attacks, family causing major disruptions. It looks a little different for everyone. But trust God, this is his way of pushing you out of your comfort zone and joining you together.
Jesus said, “Moses wrote that command for you because you refused to accept God’s teaching. But when God made the world, ‘he made people male and female.’ ‘That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two people will become one.’ So they are no longer two, but one. God has joined them together, so no one should separate them.”
Mark 10:5-9 ERV
5. Be Present in Every Moment! (You don’t know how long you have with the one you love!)
I have a loved one who lost the love of her life this year. She woke up one morning, kissed her spouse goodbye as he set off for work. She had no clue it would be the last time she would get to kiss his lips. He went to work and sadly passed away from a heart attack right there on his job. It was heartbreaking and unreal. I cried for her and prayed for her but nothing could erase that pain! We must be VERY INTENTIONAL in our efforts to constantly be mentally, emotionally and physically present in the lives of those we cherish. We never know when our last day will be. So let me just say this: PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN, PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN, PUT YOUR DOGGONE PHONE DOWN! Social media is not going to love you, take care of your needs or hold you at night! What you pour your time into will be what you bond with. If you want real love to flourish in your marriage, spend more time with your spouse than you do with your phone! Set specific times to be with your partner and no one or nothing else. Set certain times to be on your phone or to do other things. However you need to do it, just remember to be intentional in being present, you really don’t know how long you have with the one you love.
I pray that these tips will be helpful to you. May God bless your marriage or your future marriage, and may he gift you with his divine presence every step of the way on your journey in love. Until our next chat, be blessed.
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